Friday Unprofessional Synopsis: Twilight!

Good morning everyone! As I mentioned in my Wednesday post you guys are getting a Friday post this week, and maybe even next week too! This idea was something that my boyfriend came up with (kinda) since I am always explaining to him what happens in books because he doesn't read. I will try to do this every Friday in the upcoming weeks until I run out of books.
What is this you may ask? Well I will be writing out a full (unprofessional) synopsis of the books I have read. When I say they are 'unprofessional' it really means that as much as they are true to the books as close as I can keep them the details aren't 100% every time. I leave things out of course that I don't feel need to be included to understand what happens in the book. So with that done there is something else I have to do...
WARNING: Spoiler alert! This synopsis will be telling the entire length of the book and will totally ruin everything if you haven't read it yet. If you don't want the book completely ruined for yourself stop reading NOW!
So here you go!

So this chick Bella (she is the main character so remember her name) moves to the small town of Forks, Washington to live with her dad. She hates the town and comments endlessly about how gloomy it is.

There is an enormous amount of evidence that suggests that her dad hasn’t seen her in a while. You know, like childhood pictures (which she hates), and outdated things that she used to do as a kid (which she hates). And despite all the evidence that suggests that her dad really loves her and wants to get along with her (he gives her a truck to help her get around) she seems to kind of blow him off every chance she gets.

Anyway, she goes to school and everyone is all, “oooooo, new girl.” She meets a few different people (their names aren’t all that important), which she sort of makes friends with. Then, of course, she meets Edward. And when I say she meets Edward she kind of just sees him and his family (names are not important) across the cafeteria.

She is all, “ooooo, so cool,” and then continues talking to her friends. But because this story would be way longer than it needs to be if nothing else happened she ends up sitting beside him in Biology (even though they never actually show them doing much that suggests they are in biology).

Edward basically gives her the death glare and she’s like, “K”. Then she goes home and cries for a while because she hates her life.

Then over the next couple of days Edward doesn’t come to school and Bella seriously notices this even though she saw him, like, twice. She get’s more and more worked up as she notices he hasn’t come to school in a week.

But soon enough he is back and she is all, “Oh my G. O. S. H!” Anyway, she ends up talking to him and is all, “man you seem to know a lot about me even though we never talked,” and he is all nice to her and stuff. She explains to him that she moved to live with her dad because her mom remarried and wanted to travel with her new husband so she left to help her. But she hates her life all the time and it is snowing or something so she is extra depressed.

So Edward tells her they are better off not being friends and she is like, “K”. Then later on a car almost hits her but Edward saves her and she notices that he moved super fast to save him. When she confronts him he tells her to shut it about it (not so harshly but the point is made). She decides after that just to ignore him for a while. Which is hard for her because she has a stupid crush on him.

But then this big school dance is coming up and all these guys ask her to go (which is stupid because it is a girl’s choice dance) and eventually she just says she is going out of town for the day and can’t go. Then, as it just so happens, Edward asks to give her a ride that day and she is like, “cool, bro.” Then he tells her to stay away from him and she is super confused for a while.

She goes shopping with her friends later, after going to meet this random guy Jacob who doesn’t like Edwards family, and then leaves on her own to go get a book on vampires (because at this point she is getting the clues) and, oh no, a bunch of guys randomly show up and try to rape her.

So who happens to show up to save her? You guessed it. Edward takes her back to her friends then tells them to leave and takes Bella to dinner. They talk and all this stuff and she basically figured out he is a vampire.

He never admits to it but on the way home they just talk about how he is immortal and she knows at that point and he just goes with it. (Nobody really cares at this point that they have had like, four real conversations and Bella is totally in love with this guy.)

Over the next little while Edward and Bella start doing couply things like have lunch together, and drive to school together, and basically just blow off everyone else. They go to a clearing on a sunny day and Edward shows her how he sparkles in the sun. She gets all horny and he tells her to stay away from him and then they just end up being all in love and stuff.

Then Edward asks her to meet his family and she is like, “K.” So she goes to meet them and they are playing baseball. They really aren’t all that important to the plot so let’s just say they play baseball and all seem to like Bella.

But because no book is good (and this book can’t get any worse) without a little conflict some new vampires show up to play. And these vampires don’t drink the blood of animals. One of them wants to eat Bella so Edward says they are running away and she freaks out because they will kill her dad.

So she goes home and leaves again only to have to separate from Edward and go off with his sister and other brother. But the vampire figures out that they fooled him and then fools Bella into leaving them by pretending that her mother is in danger.

Then he just tortures her until the others show up and then bites Bella, essentially turning her into a vampire. Edward then has to suck the venom out and she passes out.

When she wakes up she is in the hospital and her parents have no idea what happened. Edward gets all pissy when she says she wants to be a vampire and then everything works out.

It ends with Edwards taking her to prom where he says he won’t turn her into a vampire and she says she loves him. They get all lovey and no one wonders how they are so in love even though they barely knew each other a month.

THE END (Thanks God)